weak as i am

i wish i was deaf today, and maybe blind and heartless and amnesic. i wish i could strip all feelings off, just for a while. i wish i couldn’t hear you, see you, think of you, dream of you, love you…just for a while, just long enough to heal my wounds. i can’t. i used to. i’m not as strong as i once was. i feel weak, more than any other bad feeling a person could have..i feel weak. and i love and hate this feeling at the same time.

i’m not deaf or blind or amnesic so maybe i should wish to be a bitch, to not care, to not struggle with the end of love or with the anger and the refusal to forget. i wish i hadn’t overrated all this.but i have….

about broken

…. gonna be stronger in the places that are broken…like Hemingway said.