yes..let’s see

does any of you know the movie “blow”? well there’s this scene in the end when he really realizes he’s fucked-up, that his buddies are gonna betray him but all he can only think is of his little girl wishing she doesn’t get hurt and disappointed..i felt that. she did.

there’s a reason they say “I have to see it to believe it”

since i’m taking a small break from FB and Twitter i have to use the blog to express anger towards my cat, who took a shit in my bed while i was away. my question now: do all cats go to heaven?

and in terms of music:

afterplay

i give myself to the world and the world takes me for granted. 1st off don’t try to smoke off a depression cuz your high turns into low. however it may depend on what you’re smoking. and don’t try to find escape in music, it only works if you believe in it…maybe i just don’t have any faith left.
second off, only had 1 and a half good day last week, it’s not enough, i need at least 3 to make it throu the week so can i just get a fucking break?
school is still shit and it’s the sum of a very crappy year of making the bad choices and believing in the wrong things and people.i wish i had the confidence my friends have in me.unfortunately i can’t find that in me..might have something to do with the last couple of years gone bad.
personally i still feel like crap and i’m so tired of thinking about others when others don’t give a fuck a bout me and just take me for granted.
right about now i actually hope they have a day when they realize that screwing good people over will come back to them in tens and feel real crappy. but that’s just this second and in 5 minutes i’m gonna regret saying it.
so i’m gonna learn to walk away, i should make it, a had a great teacher in my life. and i’m gonna learn to be selfish cuz caring is just not worth it, the last 5 years of my life kept trying to show me that but i closed my eyes to it. well my eyes are wide open now and i see things so differently.
this is a “rome is burning” post and this is a “fucking and punching” afterplay, so there’s a “fuck the world” time coming up. bear with me, i’m good on the inside.